


Taming of the Shrew Much?

by chocolafied, LunaTheLoneWolf



Series: Crack Creed [18]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gen, Inspired by Real Events, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 08:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2844983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolafied/pseuds/chocolafied, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaTheLoneWolf/pseuds/LunaTheLoneWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezio is the Grinch of Valentine's Day...especially when people make plans for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taming of the Shrew Much?

**Characters in this Story:**

* * *

 

Valentine’s Day was a very sensitive topic at the base, especially with Ezio lurking about in the darkest shadows within earshot. One thing to look out for would be her dramatic increase in paranoia...but who says she was wrong?

 

“Thanks for coming along today,” Leonardo spoke up, looking at Sofia who was carrying a basket full of the inventor’s art supplies.

 

“Not a problem,” the man (who for once was in his own clothes) smiled back at the Viet woman as they strolled up the street towards the Assassin hideout.

 

A chair flying through the third story window and was falling down on the pair caught his attention and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Sofia dropped the supplies and tacked Leo out of the way just in time as the heavy mahogany chair shattered into wooden splinters and stakes.

 

Angry and terrified screams could be heard from the now opened window as Sofia stood up and helped the inventor to her feet.

 

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

 

Without a doubt they could tell that a certain brunette was raging…again.

 

“I’M SORRY! CATERINA WAS THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA!”

 

And the other voice seemed to belong to a frightened thief who appeared to have been caught red-handed and now facing the wrath of an angry god. “LIAR!” Ezio barked back.

 

Rosa shrieked and a second later a desk was sent flying through the window. The pair on the ground watched as it flew over them and then landed on the last person they would’ve expected to see that day.

 

“MY LEG!” Duccio hollered in pain right by the town square. Many a person stopped to gawk at the dirtbag rat who was now pitifully wallowing in pain on the street while clutching his leg. He started screaming like a girl when the Doctor slowly began approaching him and tried to crawl away.

 

“Now, now, Duccio~,” she sang while slowly fishing out her syringe. “Let me see that leg of yours~.”

 

“NO!” he seemed to crawl away faster as the plague doctor stalked after her prey. She lost him however when the rat pried up the sewer grate and retreated to his appropriate dwelling surprisingly quick. With a satisfied smirk, Cersa skipped back into the base. Leo and Sofia watched with incredulous looks plastered onto their features.

 

More shrieking brought their attention back to Ezio and Rosa who were still having a screaming match.

 

“I’VE SAID I’M SORRY!”

 

“‘SORRY’ WON’T CUT IT, ROSA!”

 

The thief screamed as Ezio audibly shouted while throttling the thief through the shattered window and out onto the street. Sofia’s eyes bugged out of his head as he moved to catch the girl in his arms. The thief was surprisingly lighter than he had anticipated.

 

“Thanks, Sofia!” Rosa quickly spoke, wrapping her arms around his neck and sheepishly looking up at the window she had just made her exit through.

 

“What happened?” The Viet woman raised an eyebrow and adjusted her cap with a frown.

 

The thief swallowed hard.

 

“C-Caterina decided that Ezio needed something else to do this year for Valentine’s Day, so she…”

 

Sofia and Leonardo shared a look. “She didn’t…” the words died in his mouth as more screaming could be heard from inside the building.

 

“CATERINA! HOW COULD YOU?”

 

“WOMAN. CALM YOURSE- STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME!”

 

“BITCH!”

 

The man sighed as he gently lowered Rosa to the ground. “I better go calm her down,” he groaned.

 

Leo stared at him with startled eyes. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she asked.

 

He gave a crooked smirk and fetched something from his pants pocket, waving it in the air like a golden ticket to paradise; chocolate. “I came prepared,” he said before opening the front door and then closing it.

 

There was a silence between the two girls for a few brief seconds. Then Rosa sighed in a dreamy state. “He’s so brave.”

 

Leo glanced at the thief and snorted. “Sure he is. I personally think he’s more of a stupid, cocky S.O.B. for thinking he’s not going to lose a few fingers.”

 

There was another “bloody-murder” screech from the base. “Y-yeah,” Rosa laughed nervously, “you’re probably right.”

 

“EZIO! CALM THE FUCK DOWN.”

 

Leo and Rosa stared at each other as silence fell over the base for a moment. An inhuman shriek then pierced the air and killed any birds flying within a mile of the base.

 

The brunet approached the window and winked at the two ladies standing below while waving to them. They in turn frowned at him and gave him a questionable look with glaring eyes.

 

Sofia’s cockyness apparently paid off afterall.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ezio: -happily eating chocolate in her corner-
> 
> Yusuf: I have no idea what to say here-
> 
> Sofia: Just admit that I'm awesome. -w-
> 
> Yusuf: ...the closest I'm getting to that is "You're not a complete ass."
> 
> Sofia: ...
> 
> Yusuf: ...
> 
> Sofia: ...ok fine. Feed back is awesome and-
> 
> Yusuf: -pushes Sofia out of the way- Flames will be used to burn Sofia's Hair.
> 
> Sofia: Wait wha-
> 
> Yusuf: BYE.


End file.
